Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
