So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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