Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
