he puts the penis in happiness.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
