awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
