Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
