That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
