I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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