omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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