Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
