the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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