so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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