Already got asked if we're dating
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize