he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
