butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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