Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize