your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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