i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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