In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
