GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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