He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
