Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
