big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
