..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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