Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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