no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
