we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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