I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
You can't special order awesome
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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