Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
