Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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