exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
