you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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