I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
