hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I just had sex on a roof
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
