Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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