when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
