Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
