i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i came on her dog
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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