So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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