All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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