Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
