We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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