So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
