Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
