there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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