just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
