I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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