I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
