theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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