You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
