Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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