Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I'm really busy with my period
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