1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
