just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
