DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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