so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
