there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
