Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize