how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
