you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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