I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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