What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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