called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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